m4ge:

likethedickens:

HE’S BACK

this man is the best storyteller ever

kathysbrotherssister:

the clothes rose knits are so big

rh1tard:

gonna murder you and your whole fucking family

shavingryansprivates:

how to paint a squirrel

clumsyoctopus:

optimisticduelist:

flatbarnacle:

funkysafari:

You can’t get much happier than a pig in muck, or so we are told.

But when this little piggy arrived in the farmyard she showed a marked reluctance to get her trotters dirty. While her six brothers and sisters messed around in the mire, she stayed on the edge shaking. It is thought she might have mysophobia - a fear of dirt.

Owners Debbie and Andrew Keeble were at a loss, until they remembered the four miniature wellies used as pen and pencil holders in their office. They slipped them on the piglet’s feet - and into the mud she happily ploughed. [x]

PIGS WITH RAIN BOOTS MAKE ME HAPPIER THAN ANYTHING

oh my god look at the little baby

oh no 

shes wearing little booties ;______; i cant deal

ipgd:

showeranon:

nicks-ass:

monsieurmoose:

snazzycookies:

fastpuck:

ashandherketchup:

minestuck:

bootybeachpatrol:

dragonsroar:

raccoontea:

phemiec:

lalondes-wonking:

gurumichy:

pettyartist:

hitoshura0:

easternstarlights:

soujizz:

persona 3: you walk up stairs at night

Nocturne: you gradually realize you hate everything.

Because someone else did Nocturne, I’ll do a game I played today.

Xenoblade Chronicles: You get destroyed by giant caterpillars

Monkey Island.

You pick up things and use them sometimes.

Half Life

You’re a mute scientist that never does any science

I use Zelda too much so

Lost Odyssey: Everything you love dies.

Bully. You are a 15 year old ginger going to a boarding school in new england. You spend the majority of your year running errands for idiots you hate. Oh and there are only 7 girls in the whole town and they’re all a foot taller than you.

Persona 4: Everyone watches TV in the middle of the night

Devil Survivor: You’re stuck in Tokyo for a week.

Etrian Odyssey 3: You run through a forest and get killed by a deer.

baten kaitos: the main character was the bad guy all along

Cathrine: You push blocks, talk to sheep, get drunk off your ass and text two girls that you want to bang but in the end you never really get laid. You also get chased by horrifying 30ft infants with chainsaws.

happy wheels

trust me, its not very happy

Portal series: you shoot holes in the wall and get called fat alot

Legend of Zelda: forever rolling across huge expansive fields. while screaming.

Pokemon:  Spend hours and hours pushing up and down while you scream for eggs to fucking hatch already

No More Heroes: You’re forced to be an assassin by this smokin hot babe that promises to have sex with you if you kill all the other assassins but when you do she just laughs in your face and walks away

Shadow of the Colossus: There are only like 16 enemies in the entire game, and they’re all spaced way the hell apart so you wander around the huge map for ages searching for them. It ends badly for all involved.

Morrowind: You’re an ex-con who gets hired by the CIA because they’re too incompetent to do their own job. You get some missions from your cokehead handler which entail getting homework from some college students in exchange for graverobbing and serial murder and extortion. Eventually you’re told by some black chick that you’re the reincarnation of some gang OG and have to start a revolution, so you murder more people and rob a hardware store before going to a gay Mayan strip club in a volcano to solicit one of the strippers for some hot booty, but he tries to murder you so you go and stab the Big O in the chest. Then the black chick gives you some bling and tells you to fuck off.  

Basically it’s like a boring episode of Burn Notice but with a really shitty combat system and no guns.

The MGS series

An egotistical Japanese man stops you from playing a video game to pontificate to you at great length through a number of thinly veiled avatars of himself.

SMT: Nocturne

The devil turns you into a demon so that you can fight more demons.